The First Naming

When I lift Agastya up to inspect my cooking, he looks at me expectantly.  I say “that’s matar paneer.”  He solemnly repeats the phrase “matar paneer” as if at a naming ceremony, and proceeds to ask for the dish by name several times, “Mommy, I want matar paneer,” as he grows hungrier in readiness for lunch.  I’ve realized that the hungrier he is, the more likely he is to try something new.  He seems to like the dish, and continues asking for it by name the next day and despite the fact that my addition of a little red chilli powder and garam masala has made the dish just a tad too spicy for him.  In these cases, I alternate the spoonful of vegetable with one of plain yogurt while feeding him to kill the fire.

Although I am very pleased that Agastya likes the matar paneer, what makes me even happier is that his name for the dish is set in stone now.  In Hindi words.  Not that there is an English alternative, but I feel extremely satisfied to hear the Hindi words rolling off his tongue.

I have suddenly realized that the opportunity to teach Agastya his mother tongue is rapidly waning.  I see it in the words for which he now refuses to learn the equivalent Hindi term.  For instance his favorite toy, a car is a car.  Not a gadi or a pum-pum as my baby brother used to say.  The act of first naming seems to freeze things.  Milk has remained doodh, water has remained pani and yogurt has remained dahi, even though he now knows the English words for all of those and uses them interchangeably.  Now I wish that I had just taught him Hindi words for everything to begin with.  Because the first Hindi words have remained sticky, despite the fact that the English ones didn’t take long to make an appearance.  He even remembers the silly nonsensical baby words that I used to use nai-nai for bath, ta-ta for hot and ninu for sleep.

I decide to inject lots of Hindi into my speech when conversing with both my husband and Agastya. There are occasional triumphs. At dinner, I hold out a glass of water and tell Agastya “Drink this, pilo” while we sit at the table.  He looks at me and giggles deliciously.  “Pilo means drink, pilo means take a sip mommy” he says slowly, taking the glass.  After taking a sip, he passes the glass back to me saying “pilo” with the same infectious giggle.  We continue to play the game, passing the glass between us, and saying “pilo!”  Suddenly he says “Mommy, peepee aya” and gets off his chair and runs to the bathroom.  Perhaps all is not lost.

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Nitasha says:

    Dear Devika,
    I am loving reading your blog- your writing flows and has an easy and comfortable style. You write from the heart and I almost feel as if I am reading your personal diary- I suppose that is what a blog is in a way.. and it makes for delightful reading.

    Will definitely try your matar paneer- it sounds delicious- I have often struggled with finding a good matar paneer recipe so look forward to trying yours out.

    A very happy new year to you and the family- here’s to lots more cooking!


    1. devikakumar says:

      Nitasha, you are so sweet and kind. Thank you for your encouragement. A Happy New Year to you too!

  2. Anika says:

    Hi didi! Really funny post! Love the concept of your blog…

    You should put up your cake recipes too!

    Miss you guys 🙂

    1. devikakumar says:

      Thank you Anika! I will definitely post a cake recipe soon! Miss you too.

  3. renu says:

    Devika – I am really enjoying your blog and especially love that your blog coincides my my desire to delve back into Indian cooking for my little guy. His diet has evolved into something far from what I had in mind (grilled cheese and tomato soup is a staple despite my dedication to exposing him to so many Indian foods as an infant.) And I need guidance – and here you are 🙂

    I do have a basic question since I am going to start following your recipes. Can I just substitute ghee with the same quantity of oil?

    Thank you for sharing these stories!

    1. devikakumar says:

      Dear Renu,

      I have been experimenting on Agastya for the same reason. I do believe that there are lots of good, healing foods that are easy to get into our bodies with Indian cooking, especially spices (turmeric for instance), ginger/garlic and lentils, along with a host of vegetables.

      Ghee (clarified butter) or melted butter makes lentils and paneer dishes taste delicious, but I use light tasting olive oil and canola oil just as frequently as a complete substitute for ghee. The other reason is that organic ghee is hard to find (although organic butter is easier to obtain). Recently we have begun switching over to all manner of organic products for our milk and poultry needs. Apparently it is best to consume free-roaming, grass-fed and organic animal products.

  4. Rima says:

    dear Devika, first naming really resonated with me. i do regret not being more focused on speaking in bengali at home with rayat. i am very thankful that he refers to his relatives correctly with bengali phrases and rarely confuses the relationships. but it is a loss that we dont expose both rayat and nishtha to more bengali words, music and literature.

  5. Vandana says:

    Ha ha. Funny. I will make a concerted effort to “name” things the Tamil way.

    Miss you loads.

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